Take the quiz at dicepool.com

You are the large, round, friendly d20! (You probably didn't know this, but the shape of the twenty-sided die is called an Icosahedron.) You are the friendly, outgoing, outspoken, leader of friends. You are often looked up to, even though you don't normally deserve it. Most other types secretly wish they were you, and you'd give them tips on how, if only you had a clue yourself. Your charisma is often all you need, but you have your occasional moments of brilliance as well--just never when it's actually needed. You are the all-around good guy, a dependable chum, a respectable foe, and an inspiration to those who need one. Who says you can't get by on a smile and good looks alone?

( Edit: More fun )

I took this test on what religion I should be and the results are as follows...
1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (86%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (79%)
4. Sikhism (79%)
5. Unitarian Universalism (78%)
( The rest )

I took some Nyquil awhile ago with my regulart sleepy meds and I feel very pukey and very high.

You scored as APDA. You are American Parliamentary Debate Association debate. You like extemporaneous arguments and you like to work with a partner. You probably don’t like case briefs, and actually write your case during prep. You think that students should be judges. </td> APDA 83% IPDA 75% CEDA 67% NEDA 58% NDT 50% NPDA 50% ADA 42% NFA L-D 42% World's Parli 42% Phi Rho Pi L-D 33% What Type of Intercollegiate Debate Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Yay Parli! Guess I'm in the right circut. :-D

Still sickity-sick and missed classes again today. Blah. On the upside I got some of those Halls Vitamin C cough drops and they are the most friggin' delicious thing I've ever tasted.

Woah these pills do a number on you. I don't really like that feeling. Or maybe I do. I'm hot. That's all.

Princeton receives mixed reviews. In the end I'm glad I got my debate feet wet so to speak, but being sick didn't help the situation and rather than getting my feet wet, at times it felt like I was body surfing. My very first round we were up against this team from Yale that was one of the top teams last year and made it to at least semi-finals this year. We went onto compete against another Yale team, Columbia, and University of Chicago. I threw up immediatly before my third round and almost passed out during it so I ended up having to forefit my 4th round which felt pretty shitty but I wasn't about to actually pass out during a round. In the end I succeeded in being the best speaker in one of my rounds (the last one against UChicago) and never being the worst speaker in any given round. All my judges said I spoke clearly and made some good points, even though I made quite a few mistakes too. Unfortunatly my partner was the worst ranked speaker in every round we did so she was wicked upset with herself all the way home. :( She just needs to gain some more confidence and then I think she'll be a much better debater, but obviously putting herself down because she got a couple of low marks didn't help her situation. In the end though, I think it takes a ton of guts for anyone to go to these tournaments though so that in itself makes her (and the whole MHC debate team) awesome. Seriously, this is a cool group of girls on the debate team and I think this will be a good experience for me being able to hang out with them.

I'm obsessed with happy songs about heroin right now. Not that I condone the use of said products, but who doesn't like Golden Brown by The Stranglers or Perfect Day by Lou Reed? What I find most bizarre though is that many of these songs are used in commericals. Golden Brown was apparently used in an Ore Ida potato ad, Heroin by the Velvet Underground was used in a Nissan commerical, and my personal favorite There She Goes was used to hock birth control pills (granted it was the Six Pence None the Richer version rather than The La's but still...). Just an observation.

I need to sleep a bazillion hours.

Tonight I did my training with WMHC and I picked up things pretty quickly so they let me do the cueing, PSAs, picking out the music, and doing station identification for like twenty minutes. It was a DJ team and they got into a fight, but I'm not quite sure what about. I did my DJing while one of the other DJs ran out of the station. I think this will be a lot of fun.

I also went to debate which has been a lot of fun lately. I think next week I'll probably go to the Princeton meet since it's a pretty big deal and I guess a lot of schools will be there. Week after that is our Mount Holyoke meet which I can't debate in, but I guess I'll be judging and I signed up to be on the Entertainment and Misc/ Publicity committees.

My parents per usual are being awesomer than awesome. They've helped me out a ton lately emotionally and I can't thank them enough for that. When my mom called tonight she told me she watching "The Golden Girls" and I was all like, "Awww I miss doing that!" She keeps on suggesting that I live at home next year, but I think everything will be too different with her getting married to John. Besides, I think part of what makes her so awesome now is the fact that we don't see each other every day so we don't get on each other's nerves the way we would if I was home 24/7.

I've been doing some stream of thought writing in my offline personal journal hoping to bring some unconcious thoughts into my concious state of mind. So far nothing totally mindblowing has come up, but I've been surprised about what I've written about most. I think I have a lot more pent up anger than I'm aware of because some of what I wrote was rather violent and uncharacteristic of what I would have written on here or if I was thinking about I was writing. I also read over a lot of past entries. I hardly ever write in my offline journal and it's only my most personal thoughts so I have stuff from when I was like 14 in there and it's funny to think I'm still dealing with some of the same issues back then that I am now.

I have a 4 page paper due tomorrow that I've only written a paragraph of. I should probably do that rather than writing on here.

Dearest Diary,

I have a hoohah.

Hearts and kisses,
Heather

Patriots won the Super Bowl, yay!



I watched it with Caitlyn in my room. We high fived and clapped by ourselves, but it was still fun!

Question: I'm thinking about getting a LJ-paid account. Benefits? Anyone with a paid account want to tell me why they paid for an account?

( Poetry on the fridge )

Today in my French New Wave class we were talking about whether the central character in "Grand Illusion" would return to the woman he fell in love with at the end of World War I and the class answered with emphatic no.

"Cynical about love at eighteen?" the professor lamented. "What else is there left?"

And it got me thinking about whether or not I'm jaded when it comes to love. I mean anyone who reads this journal will very quickly pick up on the fact that I fill my life with the drama of relations, but that doesn't speak all to be my genuine feelings about love. Thinking about it now, every boy who I've ever had some sort of close relationship with, noting the exception of Joe, has commented about how clinical and detached I can be about love (and Joe was doing his thesis on how marriage shouldn't exsist because it's not economically advantagous so he's not a good example). What else could I possibly be though given my personal history? And is it bad to be jaded? And further more am I jaded in reality or only jaded when that part of my life is in disarray?

I'll tell you one reason why I do think people are jaded though... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=519&ncid=718&e=10&u=/ap/20050202/ap_on_re_us/american_girl
All this fuss over a doll? What's next, people saying Oscar the Grouch mocks homeless people?

Tomorrow I have training at the Eric Carle Museum for my new job and then I'll probably have to go home to take my dog, Murphy to the vet. Friday Brian (the guy from UMass) is coming over. Saturday and Sunday, no plans as of yet so if people are doing things lemme know.

So today was the start of the new semester and last night for the first time in awhile I didn't cry on the car ride back up here... actually come to think of it I was quite excited by the prospect of totally starting over in every area of my life. This excitement built when I went to my classes at Amherst and discovered that they were all discussion based, interesting, and had cute boys. It was a trifecta, I couldn't go wrong! Well one small thing went wrong, but I'm more in the mood to write about how happy I am right now, the introspective stuff can come later. So here's my class schedule as of right now:

Monday
12:35-1:50 European Film (Amherst)
2:00-3:15 The American Right (Amherst)
7:00-8:30 Public Relations (only for six weeks)

Tuesday
11:00-12:15 History of Britain
1:00-3:50 Creative Writing

Wednesday
12:35-1:50 European Film (Amherst)
2:00-3:15 The American Right (Amherst)

Thursday
11:00-12:15 History of Britain

So Mondays are going to be pretty full, but I'm okay with that considering I have most of Thursday and all of Friday off. This should leave me enough time to do all the things I really want to do this semester like debate and volunteering at the Flywheel and my job at the Eric Carle Museum.

Just a reminder, pre-Sophomore Semi party in my room for LJers Saturday night at 8. Please let me know if you're coming. Oh and if you ever want to get together for lunch or dinner or coffee or whatever I'm in! I'd really like to talk to some new people this semester so if you're feeling the same let me know.

Dear Boys,
Stop having the emotional maturity of an eight year old. If you say you're going to do something do it or just have the balls to admit you won't. Don't block me on the IM. Don't say you're "busy". Be a man. You say you don't have balls? I hear they're on a twofer sale right now at Cumberland Farms.

Dear Mount Holyoke College,
Ironically enough, you're kind of like a boy. Looking at you from afar I like you quite a bit. You're handsome, you make me feel good about being with you, and there's something somewhat comfortable about knowing you're around. However, when I get close I realize that you suck immensely, make me miserable, and have the Clapp.

Dear Mom,
I love you dearly but I need hugs not nags.

Dear Caitlyn and Katie,
Why aren't you men?

Dear Elliott Smith, Cat Power, Bob Dylan, and Vanilla Ice,
To the first three, thanks for the great music which will make me feel understood, comforted, and better even in the worst of times. Vanilla Ice, thanks for the phrase word to your mother and other ridiculous rhymage.

Dear Heather,
It's quite obnoxious when you write letters to anyone in your LJ, never mind yourself. Someday (and I hope it's soon) you'll feel a lot better and you'll be able to remember how much you've grown, but for today it's okay to cry quite a bit and eat an entire box of Suddenly Salad.

Love Always,
Heather

Earlier tonight Joe and I and then Katie and I were talking about looks and attraction and something about this really pisses me off. Not us talking about it, but the way people look at attractiveness in society. I don't know maybe it was because I grew up in a family where "if only your waist was a little smaller/ your teeth were a little whiter/ your skin clearer, you'd be so pretty". Let's all face the fact that I'm not exactly secure in my looks, after all I am the girl who invented the "fat pillow". I'm afraid I get judged lot on my looks, passed over. I see other girls, think they're pretty, wish I had the discipline to keep my thighs as small and my hair as shiny. Katie jumped on her treadmill as we had this conversation, I baked brownies. Guys obviously like girls a little thinner or whatever and I'm just not going meet up to that standard. It's frustrating.

Meanwhile, I found this video somewhat related and disturbing, yet amusing... http://img.slate.msn.com/media/95/Straw_girl_110k.asf . Let's see the day someone advertises something by alluding to a man eating out a woman.

Oh yeah, I love Cat Power's covers.

This entry is really weird.

Yeah so I'm finally back at Holyoke. If you're also deleriously bored please give me a call or leave a message. I'm probably going back home tomorrow although I don't really, but for tonight I'm here and bored in Brigham.

And we all know boredom means shameless ripping off surveys from other people's LJ's. So thanks rainbowaster!

TEN Random Things About Me:
01. I cherish my sleep and think waking up before 10:30 is waking up at an ungodly hour
02. I collect postcards
03. I get easily obsessed
04. I have sea monkeys in my room that are runts, but are alive.
05. I am addicted to cheese and sex, but not both at the same time
06. My eyes are hazel
07. I like to jump up and down to music at live shows (pogo!)
08. I will do anything to procrastinate
09. I *LOVE* the people I love.
10. My name is a color (lop off the "e") and should be sold to the Crayola company.

NINE Places I've Visited:
09. Niagra Falls
08. Lake George
07. Florida
06. Myrtle Beach
05. Virginia Beach
04. New York City
03. Toranto
02. The Finger Lakes in New York
01. Mount Washington

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
08. Get a screenplay produced
07. Be madly in love with someone who madly loves me back.
06. Raise children
05. Be happy with who I am
04. Visit the west coast
03. Live in New York
02. Graduate college
01. Make some sort of difference in the world.

SEVEN Ways To Win My Heart:
07. Remember all the stupid little things about me.
06. Tell me all the dorky things I do are cute, even if they're really obnoxious
05. Tell me I'm beautiful and mean it.
04. Surprise me.
03. Make me laugh so hard I spit out my coke.
02. Have a fabulous (but slightly "off") conversation with me.
01. Be honest and open with the exception of #6.

SIX Things I Believe In:
06. God
05. Astrology (take that hotcuppajoe!)
04. Love
03. Equality for all.
02. The power of a good laugh.
01. The underlying kindness of the human spirit.

FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of:
05. Elevators
04. Death of myself
03. Death of others
02. Loving someone completely and not being loved back.
01. Leading an empty life.

FOUR Of My Favorite Items In My Bedroom:
04. My computer
03. My bed
02. My cell phone and charger
01. My photos

THREE Things I Do Everyday:
03. Breath
02. Eat
01. Brush my teeth with my Wonder Woman toothbrush

TWO Things I'm Trying Not To Do Right Now:
02. Cry
01. Eat massive amounts of chocolate.

ONE Person I Want To See Right Now:
01. Heh. Next question please if we want to avoid 2.2

( Photos Mofos )

Yeah so I got nothing below a B as far as grades go... I didn't get much higher than a B either, but I guess that's not so bad.

Right now I'm at Joe's and we're watching "I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can" episode of The Simpsons which is the one with the drunk MoHo. Score! I've been trapped here all day because of the snow and we went to Antonio's and then I watched him play basketball for a couple of hours. We might go bowling if it's open later because it's free for Amherst people.

You scored as Loner. </td> Loner 56% Punk/Rebel 50% Geek 50% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 44% Drama nerd 44% Goth 44% Ghetto gangsta 44% Stoner 31% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

Post a memory about everyone you can remember one for on your friends list, but don't mention their name. Then you can guess what number you are and post a memory you have of me. (These aren't neccessarily favorite memories they're just the first thing I thought of when I thought of you).

1. You screamed at me that it was disgusting to eat animals when I walked into 1837 with a bunch of wings from the Hangar.
2. You ate cheese fries with me after the first Mount Holyoke party of the year in Blanchard.
3. You gave me chocolate once when I was upset after having a fight over the phone in the middle of the dorm hallway.
4. You were there at Las Vegas Night when I thought got a balloon stuck to my foot, but it was really a condom.
5. You taught me how to play "The Penis Game".
6. We both hated the stuffing with apples in it at a gracious dinner in Abby-Buck in November.
7. We went to a movie for class, but it never showed up and we were the first two people there.
8. You brought me bagels and Coolatas at 8:30 in the morning and we spent the whole afternoon in Northampton, eatting at Fitzwilly's and doing the peddle boats at Look Park.
9. We talked about lesbian drama after a DJ meeting and you had just come home from Hampshire Halloween.
10. You handed me my birthday present under the table in Blanchard because you were too embarrassed to give it to me in the open even though this present completely reminded you of me.
11. We went to Denny's at 3 AM in the morning and heard drunk women screaming out about fornication.
12. We pogoed to the Can Kickers at the Shed and it was so crowded that when I asked you to put your arm down because it was sticking in my throat you couldn't.
13. You saw me spill soda over half the food in Prospect accidently.
14. I went over your house and wanted quesdillas but there was none and we watched some weird action movie out of the corner of our eyes as we talked about boys.
15. We went to a show at Flywheel and jumped up and down a lot and I drew pictures of vaginas.
16. We visited Mount Holyoke during the summer and tried to break into buildings and both of us were really hot because we wore pants.
17. When I was at my absolute most depressed you'd always come over to me in Blanchard and give me a huge hug.
18. We ran into each other at the Holyoke Mall.
19. I brought you home from an Amherst TAP and your friend was screaming about hipbones feeling like erections.
20. We went to the first M&C's of the year together and played air hockey and foosball.
21. We drove to the Hangar only to find out it had been closed because of a Christmas party but we got take out anyway.
22. We sat with each other at the Slanty Eyed Mama show at the beginning of the school year.

Happy New Year all! As Joe said last night, "2005, that's like the future!"

Last night I had Katie, Matt, Crystal, Regina, and Joe over and we ate Chinese food and played games and talked excessively about Matt's penis and it's clensing process. I had a couple of gin and tonics and probably 30% of them ended up on my shirt because I apparently get way over excited about people coming to my house and playing Pictionary. We played Truth or Dare too which I haven't played in forever so that was a good time and some interesting revelations came out so that made things even cooler, although I wasn't particularly thrilled by the fact that Matt chose me to kill out of the entire group. Yeah, I understand now why I wasted like three years of high school totally engrossed with that boy *rolls eyes*. Funny how things change. Everyone slept over except for Crystal and Reginia and Katie apparently spent the whole night straightening Matt's hair, which I can't imagine was easy. Anyway, I think everyone had a good time and I was happy to introduce my friends to Joe and vice versa. Everyone liked him and thought we were cute together so that's nice. I'll post pictures when I get back to MHC.

Oh! And I got my car working again. Yay! So it looks like maybe a happy New Year afterall. :-D